Andrew Kerai joins the party

By Savie Maneen
Magis staff writer


Strake Jesuit senior and resident body builder Andrew Kerai recently returned from New York City and the Republican National Convention where he saw George W. Bush accept the Republican nomination to become the first man elected president since Bill Clinton in 1996.
“I couldn’t help being touched,” remarked the Republican Club president. “This was more than a convention; it showed America the truth.”
Andrew was one of seven Houston students invited by the Lead America Organization to attend the event.
“I also wanted to support the president,” said Kerai. “George Bush, like a fine wine, just gets better with age.”
At the convention, attendees occupy their time attending lunches, going to rallies, and viewing slide shows. “There were so many presentations. It’s nothing like you see on TV.”
Witness to notables such as acting vice president Dick Cheney, Texas Governor Rick Perrym, and Michael Reagan, Kerai said the Republicans built a platform that placed heavy emphasis on family, paralleling the important roles played by family members such as Jeb and George I in Bush II’s first “win.”
The platform stated that the Republicans were ardently opposed to gay marriage, stem cell research, abortion, and Hilary Clinton. When asked about the high points of the convention, Andrew remarked that “the Bush tax cuts are working and there’s no more Sadaam.” He declined to comment on the 1,000 American deaths in Iraq or the two million jobs lost at home.
A passionate Kerai claimed, “This election is about good versus evil. It’s about conservatives versus liberals.” It sounds like rhetoric we heard coming from Germany, circa 1930.
Leaving New York with a renewed sense of passion, Andrew noted, “I do a better pectoral dance [than Arnold Schwarzenegger]. He has gotten real flabby. I wouldn’t let myself get that flabby if I was president.” We all say thanks that you’re not.